MBA's Moustache Misadventure

MBA's Moustache Misadventure

A Recent Survey of MBA Grads across the Country reveals that

84 % of the Grads are devoid of any Facial hair ( Including Female Grads ....... )
6 % of the Grads have a Moustache ( Including Female Grads ........ )
9 % have a Goatee ( Excluding Female Grads ............ )
1 % have been Experimenting with all the above three forms ( A good Tactic , to keep the Proffs Guessing )

( Source: The Moustache Times Survey Report 2004-2006 )

Extending the Survey further

Top 5 things NOT to say when asked why are you growing a moustache:


1) Academic Requirement
( To make up for the COURSE CREDITS lost due to insufficient Attendance )

2) Compulsary Class Participation
( Sporting a bushy moustache can decieve the Proffs, It weakens their ability to make out who is Talking )

3) Extra Curricular Requirement + CV Point + List of Personal Achievement
( Valued a lot in Manufacturing Sector, Shop Floor)

4) Industry Experience
(Lateral Placements, The denser the Moustache , the higher the Compensation)

5) Masculinity
( U r so Screwed , Almighty Save U )

Lets not raise an h(air) of commotion !

What is common about MBA , Moustache & Misadventure ? They all begin with the letter M , but for me there is a story associated with the three Intertwined together.

My Moustache

Days of Growth : 2190 Days , Wrought out of intense and tragic experiences.
Colour : Black
Symmetry : Slightly Asymmetrical (Approximately 2.03 % )
Density : Pretty Dense
Characteristic : Darker, Fuller & Very Pronounced.
Striking Feature : Always Accompanied by a glittering infectious smile.

Died a Tragic Death at the hands of a Hairdresser inside the Campus.

How did it happen ?

It was Almost a Month since I joined the Business School , My moustache had started trespassing into other areas.It suddenly occured to me, one sunny afternoon , that I badly needed a haircut & had to trim my moustache and asked Nippy if he wanted to join me.

Nippy ( Who the Hell is Nippy ?)

Nippy was infact a Hippy. A Computer Science Engineer , originally hailing from Sikkim.He was fairer than the fairer sex and sported long & spiky hairs. I would say, at times he would resemble "Jackie Chan" or maybe Its an understatement or maybe I was too drunk typing this ( If I were too drunk , I would have called him "Lucy Liu" ).

He had worked for a couple of years before joining the School of Management. A total teetotaller is the most appropriate antonym, one could use to very accurately describe him.
( He is remembered to this day as one of the True founding member of the Booze Club, FOR MORE INFORMATION ON BOOZE CLUB , PLEASE READ MY POST ON BOOZE CLUB)

His mood was always Indescribable and he would pounce on anybody remotely resembling a prey.

"Alcohol & Not Blood ,runs in my Veins " was his Battle Cry.

I happened to meet this chap during the first few days of my hostel life and indeed spent a great deal of time with him then.

Back to The Saloon Story.

It so happened that Nippy also wanted to get a haircut and joined me in the hunt for a Hirdressing Saloon inside the Campus. We reached the Saloon after making a few enquiries here & there.

The saloon resembled an old cottage ,There were three Swivel chairs and a small bench to accomodate those who had to wait.
A few magazines lay strewn around , like Financial Management Weekly , Operation Research Daily, Human Resources Hourly ( Just Kidding ) . The Typical ones were Film-Bare, Star-Bust & Surprisingly (Femina & Cosmopolitan). I wondered these hairdressers knew their Target Segments very well. I randomly picked up one & started reading it.
( No way ! I was infact greedily waiting for the Cosmoplitan Magazine which had a hot model in a Bikini , sitting on a car or something. Now who the hell cares what she was sitting on , I wouldn't mind even if she were sitting on a Rhinoceros or an Octopus and Crying " Help , Help , Help").

I started dreaming about the model, What an Interesting Life she must be having ( I guess , "Interesting " is not the word , We all know what kind of Life she must be having , (Lets pretend !!).

Somebody disturbed my dream, Nope , It wasn't the Bikini model ,Not the Octopus, I guess Octopus would have been fine too ... , It was the Old man. He must be in his late fifties or early sixties and had himself forgotten to get his tresses trimmed. He was sporting long hairs and was kind of Impatient. ( Oops ! Now I understand , Why he was so Impatient )

Nippy somehow sensed that the old man was Impatient and very conveniently avoided him and got a young chap to style his hairs , & I had to inevitably stick with this old man.

He asked me time & again what I wanted.

I lost my cool,I wanted to ask him ,can u get Me a " Onion Utappam and some chutney " .
Why the hell does one come to a hairdresser , To attend MDP (Management Development Programmes) ?

I mumbled something and started dreaming again . I guess I was irritated because he disturbed me during my dream , the model in the Bikini , was still waiting to give me a chance to join her along with the Octopus or Rhinoceros whichever being appropriate. I was about to dive into the Sea with the model & the Octopus , The Old man disturbed me again.

I finally made up my mind , I decided to give him Standing Instructions & not to disturb me until asked to.

So I gave him a Series of Instructions.

1) Hairs - Medium Cut , blah , blah , blah
( I did not have a consistent hair style , everytime the hairdresser would Discover something New for Me, So it did not matter much.)

2) Moustache - Trim ( Thats It , I did not utter anything else )

I asked him to " Trim " my Moustache ( did it by any chance sound , raze it to ground level or Mean sea level)
I used to utter the same words in my Home town & the hairdressers there did a decent job of trimming the excess hairs.
And Mind U , in south India hairdressers never experiment with Customers moustaches. It has led to, gang wars , feudal clashes & Uprisings.

Coming Back to reality..........

This old man took an electric razor from his battle kit & even before I could notice it or say a word , Had done what he had to.

I did not understand what happened. I looked into the mirror and met this complete stranger staring at me. Dude its Me , What happened to me , I look so different....

Nippy got down from his chair & started laughing, He infact was roaring with Laughter. He laughed so loudly , that the hairdressers forgot that they have committed a mistake & joined him in the laugh riot.I wanted to kick Nippy's ass, but somehow avoided it because ( Nippy knew Karate , Kungfu , Shaolin , Schezwan , Manchurian & Sushi).

I was thoroughly confused , I did not know how to respond , the old man distanced himself from me , I was now furious , I gave the old man an earful , but how does it matter. He was partially deaf ( when I discovered that, I decided to shut up).

I walked back to the hostel after paying the hairdresser his rightful due. I did tip him ( After all , It wasn't just the old man's mistake).

Walking back to the hostel , I cheered myself ( I had a new look and a New beginning ..)

My only worry was ,

"Will the model in the Bikini , still go out with me on the Octopus / Rhinoceros. "


Thats

I , Me , Myself.

(c) Kandy 2007.