Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Jack of All Trade: Master of General Management

Jack of All Trade: Master of General Management

Sounds pretty sophisticated huh ...., it wasn't all that sophisticated for me.
I have been puzzling over this dilemma for quite sometime and it was about my Specialization.

So Let us try to unravel the mystery surrounding my Specialization.

I always thought of myself to be a Generalist more than a Specialist. I generally don’t trust my first impressions , but I surely trust my second , not the third , of-course the fourth , I hope u get the drift …… I cannot stop to give u the details……

So what made me think, I am a Generalist? I have a hundred reasons for thinking so ,
Don’t get me started on that …

I remember having read somewhere that a Generalist is somebody who knows SOMETHING about EVERYTHING. I was sure that I knew SOMETHING but was, equally sure that it was about SOMETHING and not EVERYTHING. In principle I was not a Generalist or a Specialist. I belonged to a species called MINI-MALIST which essentially meant I was equipped with what was required to get oneself out of trouble if one ended up in it accidentally.
I leave history to judge on that…

My Colleagues used to discuss a lot about Specialization. The General Discussions were circling around choosing a specific Stream or a combination in order to secure an edge. To me it was more of a babbling gossip which I had to endure because I had no choice sometimes.

So I decided to take the plunge , explore the Void , experience the Alien Splendor
( somebody please ask me to shut up …)

What I am actually attempting to explain here is that My Motivation was not precisely what it should have been

My First Crush

FINANCE ( It was Aimless confusion to me )

And here allow me to call your attention

( My Motivation was ) :

Investment Banking , Now I did not understand what it meant , I was misled by the abbreviation (IB), at times I also thought it to be a coveted job in the Intelligence Bureau ,but later realized how Ignorant I was.I had finally understood that it was indeed a whole big a deal to become one.

I have no intention of being offensive, All I could understand about IB was

a>A Front Office Job in New York
b>A Fat –Fatter –Fattest Pay Package
c>Always had to Suit up
d>To sell one's soul to the devil.

I recall from a Guest Lecture that IB was very much similar to the infamous quote
“Saaala itna kaaaam hain ki Jeene nahin deta aur Saaala itna paisaa hain ki marne nahin deta “

Now I was neither interested in the Kaaam or the Paisaa .

Coming back to Finance

The only thing I liked about Finance was that it talked a lot about MONEY , BIG MONEY and Yeah A LOT OF MONEY ...... It was always fun to hear people say “Its all about Money”.
Not to sound too philosophical because I am an unphilosophical dreamer, I was not entirely convinced about the fact that Life circled around money to the extent that other things in life were left behind in the race.


But I liked the course because it dealt with Absolutes, I could conclusively arrive at a solution based on which I could decide whether to go ahead or back-off.

Allow me to tell a story

I had performed miserably in Financial Management I & II and my hunger to master (Oops! Did I say master the subject , No way !!! I meant understanding the fundamentals ) this subject was still not satiated. So I took a Big leap by taking a Hardcore Finance Subject as my Elective.

The First day of the class the prof said he was really surprised to see so many non-finance individuals interested in the subject.
My Heart Skipped a Beat .........

He then reiterated that , this course required a lot of dedication and a strong understanding of the fundamentals. I was ready to do all the hard work but to get a grasp on the subject within such short span of time was a challenge.

The Prof immediately handed over the Course outline and Gradation Scheme. The course outline ran into pages and pages. I started feeling a bit uneasy

He then started of with the classes, I tried very hard to concentrate on the lecture despite my occasional digressions for a rendezvous with myself. The Lecture was indeed a bouncy track, with a lot of in-swingers, out-swingers, bouncers & beamers, I stood there with defenseless innocence. I had made up mind, No matter what happens, I am not leaving the field.

So I tried and Prepared well in advance for the next class and was ready with my cases too.

A digressional adventure ( Its relevant to the story). My class had guys whose name ended with “ deep “ like Xdeep, Ydeep etc..


A bunch of these guys had also enrolled for the course and were mysteriously absconding in the subsequent classes.

So coming back to the second class

After finding all the “deep”s missing from the list …………

The prof reasoned out that these individuals were barren in Intellect for Finance and hence had abandoned the course.

Now the prof does a roll call , when he came across my Name , He started a chat with me

Prof : Good to find out that you are still here , Deepak. I am Glad that there is atleast one “Deep” ( Hindi Equivalent for Light) in the class to provide light.

Me : Thank You Sir ( I am standing dumb with admiration , sometimes without admiration tooo……).

I : hmmmmmmmmmm ( Did I make the Right Decision , to stick to this class, coz , I am still not familiar with the concepts).

Myself : hmmmmmmmmm ( He is holding a huge book , full of cases and assignments, which u will never understand till eternity , Run for your Life , Its Now or Never).

Again a rough session with a lot of in-swingers and out-swingers, more of bouncers. I got injured a couple of times (when the prof started involving me in the discussions and asked a series of questions).

The death blow came after the class, when the prof gave another bunch of readings and a big textbook full of cases to be used for subsequent classes .


I came back to the hostel with a heavy heart, I am torn, I realized that I am in the middle of nowhere. The subject was becoming more of a hindrance than of a help. It started having side-effects , I couldn’t concentrate on my other subjects ( I am indeed lying).

The next class was on the following morning.

Time : 8:30 a.m
Venue: CR 1

The Entire class has assembled, the Prof is waiting and is about to begin the class, I I am still not in my seat , The Class is still dark without the only “Deep’”


Knock Knock

Prof : Answers the Door

Any Guesses ???





Peon : Hands over a revised list of students for the Course


But, wait, you haven't heard the end

Without a twinge of embarrassment, I was happily sleeping on my Bed.
I did leave a mark on that class, I stole away their only source of light and left them in
eternal DARKNESS.

I slept very peacefully till the pangs of hunger, woke me up for my Dinner.

I got up and went to the Night Canteen............

To be Continued…………….

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

The Booze Club

The Pure & Unadulterated Rules of the "Booze Club"

#1 The first rule of Booze Club is

“In case of any Eventuality be ready for a “FIGHT” or a “FLIGHT” more so, for the latter”

#2 The Second rule of Booze Club is

" All Expenses are to be shared Equally and not on a Pro-rata basis "

#3 The Third rule of Booze Club is

" You cannot decline an Invitation extended to you at any point in SPACE & TIME."

#4 The fourth rule of Booze Club is

" You and only You are responsible for all your acts of Idiosyncrasies if any "

#5 The fifth rule of Booze Club is

" No Intellectual talk will be entertained and anybody indulging in such gruesome acts
and giving any unsolicited advice will be punished with "Bottom Sip" and an uneven Share of the Bill ."


#6 The Sixth rule of Booze Club is

"No Trash Talk such as sobbing over getting dumped or getting stood up on a Date will be entertained"

#7 The Seventh rule of Booze Club is

" Everybody gets an equal chance to verbally Bash the Proffs"

#8 The Eighth rule of Booze Club is

" Everybody has to talk about himself no matter how much his life stinks "

#9 The Ninth rule of Booze Club is

"Unparliamentary words , Foul language and Gaalis are an inseparable part of the conversation ,and the more creative one gets in framing sentences with an assortment of these words, the more they will be rewarded".

#10 The Tenth Rule of Booze Club is

" If its your First day at Booze club. You Booze till you Snooze "

The Rules came into force on 31st July 2004 @ 1:45 a.m at Akshaya Bar, Mumbai India, in the August presence of honorable Beerman ,Vodkaman , Whiskeyman. It was claimed as a landmark Step in the RIGHT DIRECTION by fellow members.

Statutory Warning : Strictly not for Teetotalers , First Timers & Minors.

Note : We are an Equal Opportunity and a Gender Neutral Club.


Thats

I, Me , Myself

(c) Kandy , 2006.

Sunday, September 10, 2006

My Journey to the 6 Pointers Club (The Final Part)


And so the preparation for the second term begins. I am in the middle of precisely nowhere. I had to straighten out things or would not survive to see the next semester. I decided to deal with macroeconomics, for I was getting a hang of that subject , HR as usual was my forte (which essentially meant,that I would not flunk in it). The other subjects really were not my cup of anything!.

I had come to a stage where it was "Foot to mouth Existence".The Exams were approaching and I had by then a decent group of likeminded people (read as 6 point hopeless ones).


An Introduction to the hopeless ones

Nirvana

Nirvana as we used to call him was a Telecom Engineer from Bangalore. He was of average built and claimed to be physically fit. Ooops! Did I mention the significance of his name Nirvana.. This chap was always in a state of Suspended Animation and in the realms of Spiritual , logical, illogical ,metaphysical and very vividly physical.He was in his own world and was essentially a non-conformist. He had Radical views about anything and everything and had devised a new technique using which he could give himself a .......(censored)

He was in the line of fire toooooo....


Bumba

Bumba was an Aeronautical Engineer from Chandigarh , originally hailing from Kolkata. His only ambition in life was to join NASA (I used to wonder ,what the Martians and Venusians had done to meet such a tragic end). Did I mention about his other passions

a) Sleeping
b) Sleeping Again
c) Sleeping Yet Again
d) Any of the Above / All the Above

He was frigid and could repel girls, effortlessly. He was again a non-conformist, was seldom seen in the class. He was always adorned with a Cap ( I used to think that all his energies were concentrated in it), Bumba without a cap was an anomaly , it was like " Bumba fully awake "

He was in the line of fire toooooo....

Josie

Actually it is unjust to include josie in the group of hopeless ones because he was well over 7 CGPI but constantly worried about landing in the 6 Pointers Club. Josie was a Computer Science Engineer and hailed from cochin. He was a software engineer by profession and could easily intimidate even his CEO if confronted ,with his heavily accented Mallu english and ofcourse with his overzealous nature. Did I mention about his assortment of cosmetics and getting dressed (Josie ishtyle), I guess girls would dress up faster and with less makeup as compared to him.


So The exams loomed nearby and it was time to seriously put the concept of C2D in action. The problem was ,that we cooperated all right but domination was a pipedream.The following scenario would indeed give a clear Indication of a typical study session before the Exams.


Me : Ok, we can now collate our notes

Kaustav : Ok, u guys go first, I’ll go last...

Josie : Listen u guys, SOM rocks

Bumba : ZZZzzzzz.... still sound asleep in his room)

Nirvana : I’ll give u guys a blow by blow account of how I ....... (censored)


By this time a search party would go to rouse Mr.Bumba, who would condescend to appear half an hour later

Bumba : Yaar, @#$% yaar, I never studied. So gaya tha, kya karoon?

Kaustav : Ok, maine bhi pura nahi par paya.

Josie : Kaustav bugger, where are my notes, u took them half an hour back.

Kaustav : I think they are still at the Xerox shop, Josie

Bumba : there are notes ?

Joseph : Yaar, that’s the only note I have..I have marked it in red for very important, Blue for quite important and green for not important.

Me : But have u read them?

Josie : No, those markings took all my time..I thought u guys had read, buggers..

Nirvana : And as I was saying, if u see that girl’s arse, maan…u .....(censored) urself..

Bumba : which girl…chemical-waali?

Me : I saw a girl the other day running around in the park in shorts and u know what

Josie : Come on Deepak, SOM rocks man, introduce me to this girl na..come on naa..

Me : U know her idiot.. ........it is ...........

Kaustav : That bitch..

Bumba : That lovely bitch..

Nirvana : That lovely bitch with the perfect arse..

Kaustav : Anybody coming to night canteen..

And on that note, ended another “intensive” “study” session.........


After such Intensive Study Sessions, WHAT DO U EXPECT ?

No wonder we all happily landed in the 6 pointers Club !!


Thats

I , Me, Myself


With Inputs from Kaustav & Nirvana
(c) Kandy 2006.
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