Do you have it in You !

Do you have it in you !

Circa 2006 A D

I have a hazy recollection of the morning e-mail which read something like “School of Management - placements end in a record 4 days". I had a callous indifference to the entire process because, I was already placed. There was a breeze of anxiety though, because of my buddies.

It seems entirely wonderful to me now that i look back at the placement process. To observe the events and probably enjoy the show ,that was my chief form of entertainment. It might sound terrible and satanical but i can’t tell you how much I have enjoyed it all.

None of our high-flying theories actually saved us or the heroic fortitude that we thought we possessed! What was it that saved us?

" ALPHA, BRAVO, CHARLIE, DELTA ….

No, not referring to a scene out of a WWII movie, though the atmosphere in the ground floor presentation room could not have been less serious. We, the sacrificial lambs, had gathered there at 7 am , and were ready to be ‘sorted out’ to be interviewed by people in suits from companies. These same companies had dutifully made the pilgrimage to give their side of the story and the rosy picture throughout December in elaborate corporate presentations, and now they were ready to pick and choose the best bits of flesh from the carcass of the student body of School of Management.

So, I stayed up all night, as did most of the other inmates in the Hostel. Plan was to take a quick ‘look’ and digest concepts from management subjects – that which was to be done in two years time -in a night out session. However, like the rabbit that sees the boa constrictor approach and can’t do a darned thing to save its life, it was almost in an unreal, dazed state, I found myself as the dawn was breaking on placement day. The whole night had been spent in imagining and reimagining things in agonizing detail over the ways an interview could go. And all these resulted in the inevitable conclusion”Which poor chump of a company was going to take me !!!!!”. All I said and done, I decided my angle in the interviews should be to play the sympathy card – though sympathy for what, that seemed to be the hardest part!

Bumba came into my room at 6:3o- am, all showered, shaved and dressed, but still looking like a crazy manic. I think he spent the entire night hypnotizing himself to believe to be the best student in class.. he looked strangely happy, almost the happiness of the man who is riding the steps of the gallows and knows that the torture is going to end soon.. it made me nauseous just to look at his bright smile and jaunty confidence. However, I took a quick shower and Bumba’s trusted motorcycle soon deposited us on the steps of the school.

The place was bustling and the placement committee was moving around with a sort of eerie tightlippedness, refusing to meet anyone’s eye, armed with walkie-talkie. They herded us in to the presentation room in the ground floor, and kept speaking in low voices over their rode - though the answer was usually static from the other end. I now understood what the Jewish inmates at the concentration camps must have felt as they watched their guards, before boarding the death-trains to the gas chambers. I managed to find a place and decided to focus on breathing normally before I was called in –it would be a shame if the candidate was going to die of a heart attack during the interview. And I also knew, if that happened the placement committee would probably also have demanded a fine from my parents !! I imagined they managed to close more fines successfully than they did companies during their tenure.

Oh, and in the meanwhile Kanda had sauntered down to SOM from the hostel, determined to play his role of the universal cheerleader. I guess he was the only person that day who had a proper breakfast – the bugger had removed himself from the placement process by accepting an offer from the company where he did his summers.

So, soon people were being called left right and centre. The Chief was running in and out of the room like an energizer bunny complete with a military sergeant’s voice “Move! Move!”-as if we were going to mount an assault on the company people in the interview rooms and soon people started to streaming out. very soon, a loud cheer erupted outside which I took to be someone scoring a job [it was in fact a fellow colleague , getting an Indfosys offer- tragically he passed away the following year in an unfortunate accident].

As I was sitting there, I suddenly realized, that I have not been called yet. Bumba had slunk off for an F-Clerx interview and had not re-appeared so far. I was half wondering whether my name was even in the interviewee panel, when I suddenly heard, Josie’s voice, peace be upon him, through the radio “Citybank ! Kaustav for Citybank”. He sounded like an agent at the “Lost and Found” at the railway station, announcing for parents to come and pick up their stray child.

The Citybank folks were roosting in a different building so I beat a hasty step towards there. I found Josie in the lobby, hanging half out of the window, trying to either

a) catch a signal for his walkie-talkie

b) kill himself

On investigation, I found it to be the former ,as Josie confirmed by speaking a series of gobbledygook into the receiver. The only discernible words were “Alpha! Bravo! Charlie! Delta !”, which he kept repeating with a fanatic frenzy over and over again. I believe, though I can’t back it up, that he was trying to conduct a small war in Rwanda, along with managing our placement schedule.

“Hi Kaustav,” he grimaced” Where were you? You were supposed to be here much earlier” he added petulantly.

“Sorry Josie, it was such a nice day, I decided not to fly. I walked here. It takes time”

“Yeah, yeah wiseass. They are waiting for you. Now go”.

The Citybank guy was pretty nice and began by asking some easy questions about I, me, myself. He did not dwell on my grades [good], but got stuck in with questions about statistics [bad]. I deflected as best as I could, went through a second round of the same by another team, and was promptly shooed off. As I came out, Josie was not to be seen anywhere. He was probably hiding in the lobby again, directing his imaginary troops.

As I took the elevator down, I met Bumba waiting in the lobby for the ride up. He was wearing a borrowed coat two sizes too big and a confidence several sizes bigger. He nonchalantly told me that he had gotten through F-Clerx, and he can’t understand what the fuss is all about, and what’s the big deal about placements anyway. He slapped me jauntily on the shoulders before disappearing inside the lift.

I trudged back to HQ, and pretty soon it was the JBM folks who wanted to have a word with me. I went in thinking, “Well, this should be easy – how picky can IT companies be?” As it turned out, very.

They took over the proverbial charcoals about my summer project and did not stop till after about 35 minutes. By that time I had run out of corners to hide and simply said to any question “I don’t know”. They took mercy on me and threw me out – I knew then what those poor sugarcane must have felt as they went through the grinder.

So that’s two strikeouts. I came out and sat dazed under the tree in front of the building trying to make sense of it all. As I was trying to calculate companies I had left, I realized it was only Zipro left in the first half of the day. Indfosys had rejected me much earlier, due to some #@$% norms about getting 70% in Class XII, which I had missed by a wide margin. And by the looks of it, Indfosys was handing out offers by the dozen.

As I sat there ruminating, I must have made a pretty bad sight, and soon Kanda and Bumba joined me. They started by giving me a pep talk, more on the lines of a good cop-bad cop routine.

Kanda ” You can do it! You are the good, the great ……”

Bumba “Do you realize you look like a fu***** as*****, if you sit there like that, you *******”

Kanda” You will surely crack Zipro, you are bound too, the wheel is turning….”

Bumba “ And don’t come of the room till the **** *****, give you a job, and don’t give any **** excuses”

To this day, let it be noted, I believe that that conversation is the single most important event that happened to me on placement day. And it saved me.

And for that I cannot thank the two protagonists, Kanda and Bumba enough.

Soon it was Zipro. The interview went smoothly, the job offer followed, and soon there were a few others. But now when I look back, four years later, I remember vaguely all my interviews , even the funny ones and a long day melting into evening – I remember all the events though the particular details are lost and strong emotions have lost their sharpness. However, I will always equate the day with the conversation under the tree with two of my closest friends at School of Management. Gautam Buddha achieved his nirvana under a tree, so the story goes.

I was given courage. " ( Courtesy :Kaustav)

To be Continued ......